Today and Every Day After
by Kathryn Hart
Summary: After the Doctor leaves Rose and his Metacrisis on Bad Wolf Bay, the two are unsure how to act around each other. Rose doesn't want her heart broken again and the clone isn't sure how to prove his love for her. That is, until an accident forces them to make a decision about their relationship. Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Drama, 10.5/Rose


**I'm pretty sure I did my research correctly here in relation to medical terms and conditions. If I get something wrong, I sincerely apologize, I don't really know anybody in the medical field that I'm close to to double check this stuff.  
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 **Summary: After the Doctor leaves Rose and his Metacrisis on Bad Wolf Bay, the two are unsure how to act around each other. Rose doesn't want her heart broken again and the clone isn't sure how to prove his love for her. That is, until an accident forces them to make a decision about their relationship. Drama/Romance/Hurt/Comfort, 10.5/Rose**

* * *

 **Today and Every Day After**

 _Kathryn Hart_

If you would have asked Rose three years ago where she thought she would be now, her answer would be very different to what would actually occur. In fact any answer she would have thought up would not even come close.

Of course, she was still traveling with the Doctor then, so to say that in three short years she would be sitting by herself at home in her parents' mansion in an alternate universe wondering what to do about the Doctor's half-human clone, she would have thought you _mad_.

But yet here she was, sitting at home with a mug of tea in her hands, her mind whirling with twenty different emotions.

She felt extremely hurt over the Doctor's rejection and leaving her _again_ on that damned beach most of all, but she also felt confusion over what she would do with this 'Metacrisis' the Doctor suddenly dropped in her lap. There was also the guilt that she hadn't done anything with him yet, leaving him in a sort of limbo, and just a small touch of fear, that she couldn't handle this and trying to ward off her flight response to any sort of feeling that wasn't for _'her'_ Doctor.

The past two weeks had been filled with tension and underlying unrest. John (the name he had given himself) had been filled with so much joy and hope of a new life that it had been heartbreaking to see it slowly ebb away with each passing day that Rose spurned him. Well, she didn't actually spurn him, but yet she didn't encourage him. Neither did she ignore nor avoid him, but with each polite decline to his invitations it left him feeling more and more alone, Rose could see it in his eyes. She knew she was hurting him and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

All she needed was some time to herself to figure out her feelings and try to process everything that had happened. After three years of hopping dimensions, losing hope with each failed destination before finally finding him for ten minutes before losing him again, well, it had left her a little drained, emotionally. _He left me again! Am I not good enough to keep around? Am I some sort of priceless treasure that has to be shoved in a box never to be seen again, with no say in the matter? What about how_ I _feel?_ All these thoughts had been spinning in her head after Canary Wharf and she felt them creeping back once again.

She couldn't just act like everything was fine when her life had been hell for so long. Plus she had her secret fears about this new 'Doctor', about him making the same mistakes again in regards to her. After all, hadn't he told her he was the same man? Could this same man throw her away just like the Doctor had so many times?

 _"Remind you of someone?"_ Rose closed her eyes in pain and gripped her mug tighter. Not only was he the same man, but with more dangerous tendencies, apparently. Just like when she first met the Doctor in the basement of Henrik's.

But could she really put herself through all that again for nothing in the end? No, not nothing, just another broken heart complete with a shattered life like last time. She didn't think she could survive that again.

Call it post-traumatic stress, call it selfishness, but she couldn't change her actions even if she wanted to. She needed a push to help her make the right choice, except she didn't know what that right choice was. All she needed was time to work out whatever she was going through.

Unfortunately she didn't know that push would be coming very, very soon.

* * *

"Stop moping, Doctor, she'll come around eventually." John ran a hand over his face, feeling every inch of his skin, every wrinkle, every blemish, everything that now made him _'human'_. He could feel a headache coming on, something else new.

"Don't call me that Pete. And I don't think she will." He grunted as Jake smacked him on his back.

"Sure she will, mate. She's crazy about you, anyone can see that."

"Yeah." He replied. "Except it's not _me_ she's crazy about." He downed his glass of alcohol in one go. Pete, Jake, Owen and some of the other guys from work had offered to take him out for drinks, and with the chilly reception he would more than likely get at home, had readily agreed.

He motioned for the bartender to bring him another, wincing as his headache flared.

"Are you sure?" Pete asked him. "That's your third."

"Let him have it." Owen replied, nursing one of his own. "Let him forget her for a few hours." He turned to John, half smiling. "Bitch doesn't deserve you anyway."

Despite being deeply hurt by her, John's vision turned red at the insult. He stood up immediately and roughly pulled the other man to him, knocking both stools over.

"Hey, hey!" Pete yelled, standing between them and shoving them apart.

"Did you hear what he called her, your own daughter?!"

"Yes, I heard. Owen's a prick, you can't take anything he says seriously." Pete glared at Owen, who muttered an apology as he straightened his shirt. Jake bent down and put John's stool back in its upright position, to which he immediately plopped back onto wearily. By that time the bartender had brought him his next drink, who was displeased at the previous outburst in his pub.

"One more time and it's out on the street, for all of you." Pete nodded, glaring at the two. They sat back down sheepishly.

Pretty soon John had settled down from his fit of temper and he turned to the older man sitting beside him.

"What should I do about her, Pete? This isn't my world, I've got nowhere else to go. Hell, she _is_ my world, all I have left. What if she tells me to leave?" The elder Tyler gazed at him sadly.

"I honestly don't know, mate. Never really had that problem myself. I met my Jackie when we were young. She was so smitten with me before my money and success turned her head." John heard the slight bitterness in the man's voice and knew it was no longer necessary. The Jackie John had met as a single mother living in the estates knew what it was like not to have money and how valuable hard work was. Pete would never admit he was happier than he ever was before but it was obvious that his second marriage was blissfully better.

"If it helps at all," Pete continued. "There's always room for you at Torchwood, job-wise that is. And I'm sure we can find you a flat close by." John nodded at him gratefully.

"Yeah." Jake piped up. "I know for sure Susan down in PR would be more than interested."

"S-Susan? No, no. No. No. No." He shook his head vigorously. "I can't imagine a life without Rose anyways, thanks. Being with her is hard enough, but being without her would be unbearable." He had already thought he had lost her for three years, he didn't think he could do it again for even one day.

He felt a twinge in his chest but ignored it as he again finished his drink. He was just about to order another when there was a sudden and sharp pain behind his ribs and immediately felt dizzy, that kind of dizzy that caused blackness on the edges of your vision. He tried to take in a breath and found he couldn't.

"John?" Pete asked, seeing his face flush abruptly white. He stood up as John grabbed his chest and began coughing.

"Some...something's-wrong," he gasped as suddenly he lost his balance and crashed to the floor, the stool flung and knocked over a few feet away.

"Call 999!" he heard someone shout as the world around him snapped to black.

* * *

Rose had just gotten out of the shower when she heard her cell ring from its place on the nightstand. Still wrapped in a wet towel, she didn't rush to answer, assuming it was just her mother on the other side of the immensely large mansion wondering what she wanted her to make for dinner. All those servants and her mum refused them, saying she had always provided meals for her family and _"I ain't about to quit now just because of some fancy help!"_

As she picked up the phone, she frowned as the ID told her it was her stepfather. He only ever called her when there was some issue or alien threat at Torchwood.

"Pete?" She asked as she answered the phone, pulling her wet hair out of her eyes.

 _"Rose, it's John. Something's happened."_

"What?" Her heart dropped into her stomach in horror.

 _"Meet us at North Central Hospital. Take Geoff."_ After living in this world three years Rose knew her way around the city, but her stepfather knew all too well how bad of a driver she could be when she was stressed.

"Will do." She replied, her voice shaking just as badly as her hands were. In fact it seemed like her whole body was shaking as she dressed, faster than she ever had before, only bothering to throw on black leggings and a long purple blouse with a tie at the waist, as well as her favorite leather jacket. She threw her phone in her bag haphazardly and nearly fell down the stairs in an effort to get out the door as quickly as possible and find the family's personal driver, Geoff.

* * *

"Where is he, where is he?" Rose cried as she burst through the hospital doors. She could barely see straight, and her stomach was sick with worry. Her head whirling, she mindlessly followed the nurse up stairs and through doors until she finally saw a familiar face. "How is he?" He stuttered to her father. Her heart felt like it was going to burst right out of her chest. Where only thirty minutes ago she had been filled with hundreds of different conflicting emotions, the only thing now she felt was a blinding, heart-stopping terror.

 _"I can't lose him."_ her mind kept repeating over and over _"I can't lose him now, I can't!"_ Pete noticed her eyes glaze over and shook her out of it, his hands on her shoulders.

"Rose! Rose, he's fine, he's fine. Just gave us a little scare, that's all. The doctor just told me moments ago." She didn't seem to register the news at first, only looked at her father with a confused look on her face. When it finally did reach her brain, waves of relief flooded her body and she suddenly hugged her step father fiercely. The worrying thoughts were replaced by _"he's okay. He's not going to die. He's okay."_ When the overwhelming feelings started to ebb away to a single sense of relief, she let go of Pete with a smile.

"Can I see him?"

"He's extremely worn out, but I think he would like to see you."

"Thanks." She replied softly as she stepped past him to enter the room. Now that she wasn't worried sick about his well-being, the starkness of her surroundings reminded her of where she was. She had only been in the hospital a handful of times since she came to this world.

The first time was just a couple weeks after that fateful day when she arrived, when she lost the Doctor the first horrible time. She had caught a nasty virus, which was most likely brought on by her depression, late hours working and relentlessly trying to find a way back to the parallel universe she was born in. Her near-death had forced her to pull back a bit and look at things logically: with hope and hard work and not so much desperation.

The second time had been when her mum had gone into labour and two and a half short hours later her half-brother Tony was born. The immense joy of that day was unusual to feel after so many months of failures and heartbreak.

The last time had been due to one of her dimension jumps landing her in the middle of a Dalek incursion and she had nearly lost a limb after a fallen wall had clipped her.

Of course, previously Torchwood had had their own medical facility at the main base, but it had been destroyed in the Cyberman invasion two years ago. Although there were plans for a new one, at the time it had just been easier to confidentially place a few operatives in North Central. Obviously, every agent who worked for Torchwood was equipped with basic emergency medical training, but medics like Owen Harper and Rose's friend Elise Barnes worked at the hospital (with no one but those in confidence knowing their true bosses).

Today was Owen's day off and Elise was on maternity leave so John had been assigned to a doctor Rose had only met once or twice before. Mary...or Margaret, or something like that, she couldn't exactly remember. She never was very good with names.

After stepping into the room fully, she spotted John lying on the bed in front of her. He looked so pale, when this morning he had looked so alive, so healthy. What the hell had happened to change him so much in so little time? His clipboard set on the edge of the bed frame told her it was due to some sort of asthma attack and his heart not having oxygen for more than two minutes. Rose knew he would have died if his heart had been inactive for much longer. Her classes in her emergency medical studies reminded her that after about five minutes with no oxygen the brain cells would begin to die and after ten minutes, (in most cases) death. The thought sent another chill through her. With nothing much else to do she pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed.

She reached out to touch him but hesitated, her fingers millimetres away from the stubbled skin of his cheek. Gaining more confidence, she continued forward, her warm fingers brushing up against his shockingly-cold skin. Where the Doctor's had always been cold before, the little Rose had touched John's skin, she found it was warm, just like the human blood running through his veins. The surprise startled her, and at the same time her touch seemed to bring him to life. As he appeared to stir, Rose removed her hand quickly. His eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," She said quietly, giving him a small smile after seeing him awake.

"Hey," he whispered back. "Urmf." he groaned. "What happened?" He tried to sit up but found he didn't have the strength. His brow furrowed in confusion.

"They're not exactly sure yet, but it had something to do with the four drinks you had."

"Four? I didn't think I passed three." He winced, finding it hard to breathe. Why couldn't he breathe well? Besides the whole one heart-thing, which he had already gotten used to.

"Well, technically three and a half. What were you doing, drinking so much anyway?" She was a little miffed at her step-father for letting this happen, even though she knew it wasn't his fault at all. Her anger was more directed at herself.

"Why do you think?" He said, a bit more bitterness in his voice than he intended. Rose turned her face away, making John immediately regret saying it. He was about to attempt some sort of apology when the door to his room opened and a woman in a doctor's coat stepped in. All other thoughts were wiped from his head as he saw her face.

"M-Martha." He gasped, recognizing her. Rose turned to him, surprised. "How?"

"Hello there...John Noble." She smiled at him after glancing at his name on the chart. "I didn't think we had the pleasure of meeting yet." She winked at him and John missed Rose straightening up, her eyes flashing in jealousy. Instead he was trying to remind himself that this wasn't the Martha who had traveled with him for nearly a year. It still didn't stop him from staring at her with a dumbstruck look on his face.

Rose watched his reaction, narrowing her eyes. Finally she broke the tension in the air.

"What's his diagnosis, Dr. Jones?" She only "remembered" the Torchwood Agent's last name after glancing at her name tag surreptitiously.

"Please, Rose. It's Martha. And you're going to be fine, Mr. Noble."

"Please," The half time-lord said with a smile. "Call me John." Rose's face fell at that as Martha laughed. Was he really flirting with the pretty dark-skinned medic, right in front of her? For a moment she nearly slipped back into those moments of self-depreciation and doubt back when she was still a naive teenager. But later she had learned to accept her moments of weakness and use it for strength instead. She leaned on that, her face easing back into an expression of indifference at the affair.

As if John sensed her internal battle, he reached a hand out and placed it on her hand that was sitting next to him on the bed and squeezed it softly. She nearly flinched away on instinct, but she managed to keep still.

"Well, John." Martha continued, not noticing what was happening in front of her. "Good news is that there doesn't appear to be any lasting damage from your heart being still for so long."

"What?" He hadn't known anything about what had happened to him.

"You collapsed in the pub under some sort of severe asthma attack." Rose told him, repeating what Pete had told her earlier. "Your heart had no oxygen for two minutes."

"Two minutes?!" So that's why he felt like he had been shot by a Sontaran blaster. Twice.

"Bad news is," Martha went on after Rose had stopped explaining. "is no more alcohol for you. Doctor's orders." John was flabbergasted.

"No more alcohol, as in ever?" he'd never been attached to the stuff, but if he told the truth, he had become a bit dependent on it since Rose had basically rejected him. Plus, he couldn't understand why this new half-human (but still half-time lord) had such a weird and unusual defect.

"Yessir. It's called an alcohol-induced respiratory reaction. Basically the allergens in the alcohol constricted your airway so severely that your whole upper chest was affected, including your heart."

"Allergens? So he's allergic to it then, basically?" Martha nodded at Rose's question.

"So no wine, no beer, no hard punch even."

"Hard punch?" He turned to Rose. She shrugged with a smile, muttering under her breath.

"It's a popular thing in Pete's world. Instead of hard lemonade."

"Ah." He couldn't help but laugh softly at that. His laughter died off as he glanced at his former blonde-haired companion. She was gazing at him with an expression he couldn't quite name. Suddenly wanting to be alone with her, he spoke to Martha without moving his eyes off Rose's face.

"Doctor, could you give us a second please?" How ironic, calling _her_ doctor. She nodded, which he didn't notice, and departed from the room.

The two of them were quiet for about a minute, staring into the depths of the others' eyes. John had been trying to talk to her for so long, but never had he gotten the rapt attention from her he had at this moment. Unable to hold back any longer, he let the words flow out of his mouth bluntly.

"Rose, why do you keep avoiding me? If it was something I did, I'm sorry, let me make up for it." His voice rose in volume and desperation. "I can't take living like this anymore!" He stopped, taking a breath, speaking quieter. "Just...just tell me why, and I'll go. I'll do whatever you need me to do. _Just tell me_." She turned her head away to look out the window, which John just now noticed. It was spring outside, the snow was melting away and new life had begun. He hoped the same was in store for him. He wanted a second chance with Rose so badly that it threatened to overtake him.

"You know why." She said so quietly he nearly didn't catch it.

"I don't." He replied honestly. "I've made it clear that I gave myself, my life, my future plans, all to you that day on Bad Wolf Beach." She flinched noticeably at the name. "But all you do is avoid me like the Allegurian plague." Another silent few seconds passed by. Just as John was about to say something else Rose turned back to him, tears filling her eyes.

"I-I know I've been selfish but..." how could she tell him what she was feeling, what she had been struggling with for years, even before her and the Doctor had been separated? "how can I trust you?"

"What?" of all her answers, that wasn't one he would have guessed. "You don't trust me, that's what this is about?"

"Well, not all of it, but can you blame me? How many times have you left me now for something better?" It was the first time she had referred to John and the Doctor as the same person, which he accepted. He _had_ done those things, after all. Those memories, those choices, all those things were in his head and made him who he was. Rose continued. "On the Game Station, you-"

"Oi, that's not fair! I was protecting you!"

"Look how that turned out." She murmured bitterly. "I killed you." John's mouth opened at that. She blamed herself? They'd have to talk about that another time. "But what about Reinette?" She continued, ignoring the shocked look on his face. "Krop Tor, the Olympics, Canary Wharf? Never did you _once_ ask me what I wanted and only thought of yourself. You always treated me like I wasn't a person able to make her own choices, that I was just some sort of pet you had to get rid of because you were moving out and didn't want to bother with any longer. And him...the Doctor, he _left_ us! How can I not expect you to do the same to me?"

"I won't." he replied immediately, before realising how lame it sounded.

"Well yeah, today. But what about tomorrow? 3 years from now? When the next pretty face comes along? Or worse, smarter?" She motioned to the door that Martha had exited through only moments earlier. "Will you still want me in ten years, forty years, after going the slow path?" That time he winced, the shot hitting close to home.

John had to take a minute to think. How could he tell her that his every thought revolved around her, that he didn't want any sort of future without her in it? How could he say all that and still not sound like he was spewing out empty promises and lies? Pursing his lips, he took one more moment, then began.

"Rose, I know I don't really deserve your trust after all the things I did while I still had two hearts, and I can't really promise ten or forty years, but I can promise today." She looked at him quizzically. "And I can promise tomorrow. Every day I can promise you that next twenty-four hours. Every tomorrow from now on is yours. As long at it takes. As many tomorrows as I...as _we_ have left." Rose's mouth was agape at that, clearly not expecting such an incredibly honest confession.

Suddenly she threw herself at him, her lips crashing onto his. John's mind flashed back to that fateful day on the beach, when he had finally confessed his love to her.

Except while that kiss had been passion and desperation, this one was filled with hope and pent-up longing. Where only seconds ago he had barely possessed an ounce of energy, now he felt like he could run a marathon, that he could fly to the moon and back, TARDIS or no.

With Rose by his side he could do anything.

He groaned in pleasure as Rose deepened her kiss into him and ran her fingers through his already-tousled hair. He dug deeper into her, trying to tell her with his lips the things he couldn't put into words.

Finally they let go of each other slowly. Rose let out a shaky laugh, before abruptly stopping.

"I'm sorry...for the way I treated you. It's my fault you nearly died." John shook his head.

"You had no idea this single heart of mine had an alcohol intolerance. And I would have figured that out eventually, probably in even worse circumstances. I should thank you even, that I was with people who could help me when it happened.

And as for why, you were dealing with difficult things, things that you didn't know how to deal with on your own. Doubts and fears that I should have reassured from day one. I'm sorry too." She smiled at him, a single tear falling down her face. He reached his thumb out and slowly wiped it away.

John scooted over on the bed and motioned for her to join him. She climbed up on the bed and laid down on her back against his side, her head under the crook of his arm. She wrapped her own arm to place it on his chest as he rested his other hand on her stomach.

"I love you." She whispered. John grinned.

"I love you too." With great effort, he turned on his side so he could see both Rose and outside the window. The scene outside was beautiful and full of hope, but not so much as the incredible creature lying in front of him.

Rose gazed up at him with those big brown eyes that had entranced him since the moment they met. _So, so long ago._

"How long are you gonna stay with me?" She asked him, features filled with content, for the first time in ages. John had already prepared his answer.

To answer _"Forever"_ would be the wrong thing for her to hear from him now, not after all that had transpired.

"Today, and every day that follows after."

 _End_

* * *

 ** _If you liked this, please support me and tell me what you think, even if it's only a few words. And take a look at some of my other Doctor/Rose stories. Thanks!_**

 ** _If you want to read other stuff of mine like this, check out: Acceptance and After the Running Chapter 3: Home is With You_**


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